yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Randomize
