I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Randomize
