we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
