return my video game
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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