Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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