she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
