I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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