I am in a vortex of obligation.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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