I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
