the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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