hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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