im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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