I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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