The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
