i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
