Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
