he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
