Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
