Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
