We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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