i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Too much gin, very little bucket
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
