my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
