i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
