In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
