I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize