2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize