"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
