Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
