I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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