I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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