all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
