the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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