I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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