I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
time to smoke my breakfast
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize