Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
