Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
