It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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