Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize