Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
This is the high leading the old right now
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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