we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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