i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
