Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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