Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
