sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
