What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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