i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
