Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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