everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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