he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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