i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
