once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
