Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
