the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
