she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Randomize
