i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize