My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
