I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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