this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
