get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
