That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
