I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
