:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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