I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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