i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
