just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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