Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
