Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
