go do what you do best...puke behind churches
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
